For Chip: He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion. —Unknown

Thursday, August 22, 2013


Mercedes sat near the window of the dingy restaurant contemplating all that had happened.  She reached down to pick up the small vase of  pink carnations and held them close to her face.  The flowers were beautiful but there was no hint of  sweetness.  She could still smell the room where she had played her first piano recital.  The auditorium was icy cold and had the scent of a flower shop.   The faint fragrance of  different varieties of flowers lingered from all the corsages and adorning flower stands.  She had worn a turquoise formal dress with a series of netted ruffles.  She thought she looked beautiful, but was petrified of the task of performing.  She was only 5 years.

Why was there so much confusion in her life?  She could not believe the preceding events of heartache, fear, and  disappointment.  She tried to be positive but she needed to break away and escape.  Bora Bora looked beautiful in the movie, Eat, Pray, Love. Was fleeing possible?  She needed to vent her emotions, but found it was always others that shared their secrets and concerns with her. 

People always trusted her.  One of her female co-workers had  told her how she had been shocked by another male co-worker telling her he loved her. The female co-worker had young children and there was no way Mercedes would reveal that information to anyone. 

She enjoyed hearing the stories but sometimes it was troubling.  One friend had told her intimate details about her current love interests and details of a perverted sex life.  Another friend told her the reason she was so energetic and able to paint all night was because she was on speed.  Then there were the deep dark secrets one acquaintance had told Mercedes.  She said she could trust Mercedes because she gave off good vibes. Mercedes did not flinch as she heard the bazaar details of inappropriate ethics.

She was shocked when an old family friend  confessed that  she had a distaste for her husband.  The woman showed anger as she discussed her situation.  The friend wanted to tell her more but it was making Mercedes feel uncomfortable and she quickly changed the subject.

Maybe it was a gift?  Why did  people find a particular person  trustworthy enough to confide in so easily. In most instances the people she met on a plane, or in daily circumstances would tell her the most interesting details about their life within minutes. Therapists do this for a living, but some personalities just happen to be in the crossfire of people's emotions.

Sometimes no answers are needed, but just someone that can be trusted to confide in. Mercedes needed this too but sunk back into her chair and sighed.  The thoughts of the little blue dress made with love by her mother gave her comfort and strength. She felt content just to keep everything inside and share her thoughts with no one.