How to Avoid Crying if you are the Mother of the Groom
- Stay focused and think about other things that are not emotional. Worry about having enough parking spaces for the guests, or if you can wear your shoes the whole night.
- When walking down the aisle, do not look at the guests. If you do happen to see someone, it is because they are cheering you on and it will make you smile.
- My friend said carry a Kleenex, but I would advocate a small dosage of xanax.
- Concentrate on the person walking you down the aisle, and use small talk to make it a light and pleasant experience. My son walked me, and I mentioned that the wedding planner was ADD. That made us both laugh.
- Whatever you do, do not look at the bride as she walks down the aisle. You can see it later on video and enjoy the breakdown in your own living room. If I watch a bride walk down the aisle, I will completely burst into tears even if it is a total stranger. Don't Look!
- When the bride and groom say their vows try to think of other distractions like the flowers or how long the whole service is taking. If you concentrate too much on the vows, it will result in a certain flood of tears.
- Think about how tears will ruin your makeup. Not only will you look ugly, but you will look ridiculous with one fake eyelash hanging.
- If you make it through the service, you still have to make it through several toasts, which usually tugs at the heart. This is like a battle prep. Prepare yourself for distractions.
- As the toasts begin. think how nice the speaker looks or how well they are speaking. Most of the emotional details will be about the bride and groom.
- Check on the status of the bride's mom. If she is not crying, it will give you confidence to postpone the emotion. The bride's mother said she had been waiting for this day for 3 years, so I assumed she would not be crying.
- By the time they cut the cake, I am sorry to say that my beautiful Stuart Weitzman glitter heels had been killing me. I decided this would also be on video and skipped that activity.
- The exit of the bride and groom is not too emotional. You may attend an after party. I noticed some of the guests were getting tipsy at the end.
- My mother fell asleep in a chair at the Hotel after party. She appears to be asleep, but my son says that she is like a guard dog, and there is no chance she is missing anything. This makes me laugh, but I know it is true.
- I laugh as my mom holds her head up and says, "I don't know who we are waiting for, but I don't think they are coming."
- Don't drink during the wedding or the after party. A friend told me that at the end of the wedding she had a few drinks and argued with her sister over a shady relative.
- Postponing crying may not be the best approach at your son's wedding, but it worked for me. There will be plenty of emotion the next few days and trying to avoid it temporarily is not a bad thing.
- Use Jackie Kennedy as a role model and remember how stoic she remained during a funeral.
- If you do break down in tears it is quite normal, and no one will disapprove.
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| Jeff at hospital in AZ where he was born |
